Saturday, February 19, 2011

my life is pink and sparkly

you know the article (ok, maybe you don't, but i'm betting most of you do). i wasn't going to write about it cause everybody else has, and it came out like a month ago or something, so it's kinda old news in the mormon world. but i've thought about it ever since.

you know, the Mormon Housewife Blog Thing that that one girl wrote on  yeah, where she's all, i can't stop reading these blogs and they are soooooo different from me and my educated single commit-a-phobe self blah blah blah. ps, if you are mormon (i need to stop saying that. LDS) don't read the comments.  they will get you all hot and bothered, and there should really be Sunshine in YOUR Soul Today. 

" They have bangs like Zooey Deschanel and closets full of cool vintage dresses. Their houses look like Anthropologie catalogs. Their kids look like Baby Gap models. Their husbands look like young graphic designers, all cute lumberjack shirts and square-framed glasses. They spend their days doing fun craft projects (vintage-y owl throw pillow! Recycled button earrings! Hand-stamped linen napkins!). They spend their weekends throwing big, whimsical dinner parties for their friends, all of whom have equally adorable kids and husbands."

i don't think this girl actually has any LDS friends or aquaintances.  and surely she must know that some of these women are career bloggers... whether they started that way or not.  CJane and Nie Nie sell stuff and promote stuff and work for the blog world and actually make a living off of their writing- of course they write about the good stuff and have beautiful designed (by someone else- and super expensively) blogs and dress well.  (i'll admit to even becoming disenchanted with the beloved Nie Nie after so many ads on the blog and constant reminders to 'buy my calander!' and such became overwhelming to me.  but i love reading entries from years ago, when she locked her kids in the backyard to have a moment, or found her baby playing with poo he scooped out o the toilet. luckily, my favorite, Nat The Fat Rat has stayed pretty true to her values,  she has a few sponsors but doesn't blare about them and get free clothes that make up every piece of her wardrobe which she happens to take pictures of every day... and there are others like her too. tangent.)

or at least she has no LDS friends like me. 

the girl who cut my hair on the cheap last month did NOT give me cute bangs. they are only just now starting to grow out and not scare me. 

and yes, while my child will likely look like a baby model (have you seen his father?), my hub doesn't look like some graphic designer when he wears the same t-shirts he's had since before his mission and considering some of his things i've thrown out (either without him knowing or with him crying in the corner)- light tan crocs with a blue strap that he got for free somewhere (um, i don't care if they are comfortable) and the light denim jeans that are also carpenter style (you don't carry around a hammer)  and about 6 inches too short, all white marshmallow looking tennis shoes, and next, a church sweater that is light tan and ribbed and way too big for him yet also somehow not long enough.  you'll never see damon in lumberjack shirts and square glasses, you'll see him in a kaizen t-shirt and black stretchy pants he got in brazil and an ankle brace for basketball and ... slippers. and he owns it AND looks like a hottie. that's how we roll around here. 

the only thing i own from Anthro is the bridesmaid dress i wore to my sister's wedding. i asked her to pick one from there cause i wouldn't have to pay for it and i've always wanted to own something from that store. i tell damon that when he's all rich and stuff i'll shop there, because it's a fantasy land. but really, i probably won't cause i'm just not that fashionable.  the last 3 weeks the only pants i've worn are 1. black yoga pants 2. blue workout pants that i bought on clearance at Academy in 6th grade and 3. damon's old grey sweats. everything else i wear is from target. (though, i admit, i have no trouble dropping cash on sevens or hudsons and yes, i bought a pair of paige's while pregnant. i'm that kind of girl, i guess)

i don't craft, though i buy stuff to craft. well, i painted a few things for my baby's room- i stole the ideas off the internet. etsy to be exact. i think etsy is the epitome of mormon. or the epitome of hyperbole.  (brian regan is also decidedly the epitome of mormon, yet interestingly enough, the only cliche mormon thing that i like) i will admit i really really bad want a sewing machine to make all the cute baby stuff i see on other mormon mommy blogs. i had one once, a sewing machine, but it was like 30 years old and the instruction manual was not in laymen's or modern day terms, so i sold it on craigslist. sorry mom. i need simple, white (not beige and brown), streamlined, and preferably with dvd instructions, not written.

ok, and also, i have dinner on thursdays with our friend couple (we successfully couple- dated them for a couple of months and then blossomed a well balanced relationship).  so thursdays. we pick a theme (mormon), we switch weeks to cook the main course (mormon) and the other coupleakawife cooks the side and dessert (dessert = definitely mormon) and then we hook their (yes, adorable) baby girl into some cartoon and discuss whatever our hearts desire over some yummy dinner foods.  so i guess we kinda have that down. also, confession: i have a desire to do a gourmet s'mores gathering, and that is definitely mormon mommy of me, but i really want it bad!  (nobody better steal my idea!)

"As my friend G. says, of her fascination with Mormon lifestyle blogs, "I'm just jealous. I want to arrange flowers all day too!" She doesn't, really. She's just tired from long days spent in the lab, from a decade of living in a tiny apartment because she's too poor from student loans to buy a house, from constant negotiations about breadwinning status with her artist husband. It's not that she or I  want to quit our jobs to bake brownies or sew kiddie Halloween costumes. It's just that for G., Mormon blogs are an escapist fantasy, a way to imagine a sweeter, simpler life."

the article says... seriously though?  many of my closest friends have masters and more (accounting, counseling, they have doctorate degrees and have patients, for crying out loud!) and this girl apparently doesn't know that a teething 18 month old and a potty training 3 year old and a newborn at the same time is not at all like unto arranging flowers all day.  what a... well, you know. she obviously thinks our husbands got their degrees to support these lovely endeavors of ours by, i don't know, finding a money tree growing in the sacred grove or something.  right.  talk to me about being too poor to buy a house because of loans when you are 200k in debt from med school and even after you are making money, you are paying almost 35% in taxes.  there's nothing sweet or simple about only seeing your husband in the late evening hours and half a day on sunday because every other minute he's in the librarylabclinicstudyzonewhatever. saturday is the worst day ever. 

while i really hated how this girl portrayed and compartmentalized my life and the life of friends and other church members (aka, my sisters in zion) i am going to give the girl slight props, since she does point out that there is an underlying feeling you get from reading something other than divorce and abuse and depression that dominates media today.  

"But the basic messages expressed in these blogs -- family is wonderful, life is meant to be enjoyed, celebrate the small things -- are still lovely. And if they help women like me envision a life in which marriage and motherhood could potentially be something other than a miserable, soul-destroying trap, I say, "Right on." I won't be inviting the missionaries inside for hot cocoa now or ever, but I don't plan on stopping my blog habit any time soon."

cause you know, that's just how it is- we are just trying to be happy with what we have chosen.  we ARE happy with what we have chosen!  and some of that includes a little baking and baby cheek eating and a few play dates here and there, and yeah, writing a hand-written note to somebody once in a while. there's no shame in the glowing, the handmade, the wholesome. family IS wonderful and life SHOULD be enjoyed. and props to my girls who are spreading that gospel. 

now, i'm off to try out a wheat bread recipe. 


Barrett Family said...

Let's celebrate our mormon culture with a gourmet s'more night! The theme IS dessert... I love it! Can we watch Saturday's Warriors while we dine???

Kelly said...

I came across your blog and LOVE it! I find it very refreshing. Sometimes I feel so much pressure to be the crafty wife. I even try to be sometimes. Usually unsuccessfully. I did learn how to sew since I've lived here. Although, a couple months ago I took my "broken" sewing machine in to get fixed. $70.00 later it turns out Chase had simply switched some lever that just needed to be switched back. That's when I pretended like I had also brought it in to be cleaned. A very embarassing moment in my life. Oh well, some of us are just not meant to be crafters. FYI, I won't steal your gourmet smore idea as long as you invite me to the party.

Bryan and Ashley said...

I remember the first time we really talked on the bus ride home to King Henry. I walked away thinking, I can totally be friends with her cause she says it how it is and makes fun of people. :)

I read that article a few weeks ago and I'm pretty sure my husband had to listen to me rant all the things you said. Well done actually writing them down!

Hope your surviving this last week. No one actually ever tells you just how bad it is...probably a good thing.

i see you too...