Monday, September 29, 2008


my brother rocks.

a new appreciation for OBS

in case anybody was wondering about that comment cameron posted down a couple...

the other night cameron came down to my unit after shutdown while i tried to finish my paperwork before nightwatch showed up. he was the aid that night and mostly gets to wander around. tonight was my lucky night??? right. i don't remember what i did to make him mad (i probably did nothing. duh.) but next thing i knew he took my shoe and threw it in OBS.

OBS: Observation... a cement room about 5x5 and made of cement walls. it has a door. with a small window up near the top. a door with no handles on the inside. girls sit in obs when they throw tantrums and are a threat to themselves are others. it's where they can cool down under the watchful eye of staff with nothing within reach to harm anyone with. we don't lock anybody in there.... but i got locked in.

cause he threw in my shoe. and i had to scoot on a rolly chair in there to get it. and then of course, he closed the door on me and laughed at me through the window. then while i was sitting there being pissed and before i could think of anything smart, he runs in fast and grabs my radio. why didn't i think of that radio??? so anyways, i spent a good 3 minutes in obs and i never ever want to be locked in a cement room again.

and i will get him back.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

stewart falls...

Cameron and I went hiking. it was grand. the weather was perfect, fall is so so close... i say 2 more weeks and the leaves will be so good... here's some pics...

the leaves haven't all changed, but give it another week or so...

my fearless hike leader.

so many colors!

it's hard to take pictures of trees when you have this really pretty guy around. Cam's too photogenic. and that hair! haha... this picture is to show how much better his is than mine...

playing with the lensbaby

color color color
jeez, i didn't realize how many of my good shots were of him till i started uploading...

stewart falls... by the time we got there, we had less than 10 minutes to shoot before we had to hustle back down (uh, except back 'down' was actually uphill mostly... i stopped a lot. i layed on the trail. but only once) to make it to work on time... and we weren't even too late!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

ghost readers

i started thinking tonight about who could possibly be reading my blog and i didn't even know it... after all, i'm linked on a couple of other peoples blogs... jenn... tara... catherine... even just these three (and i think there are others) and i start breaking out in hives considering who they know or might know and therefore who could be here at this very moment...

i started to get nervous

random strangers (cause we all do it- you're reading a friends' blog, you look over their blogroll, see an interesting name, click, become obsessed, add it to your favorites and visit it as often as your bff's blog)

friends that i might write about but they don't even know it??? or at least i thought they didn't...

friends of friends of friends that you've never met or maybe met once and maybe they had some really nice first impression but now they read about my actual thoughts and not just the show...

old boyfriends??? (gah! david, i hope grad school is great and i don't remember if i've written anything about you-is that possible to have not?... michael, i'm a tad sorry but not sorry enough to say it to your face. thanks for pissing me off though and therefore instantly erasing the pain)

coworkers??????? oh no.

if you are a ghost reader, i invite you to REVEAL YOURSELF!!! i'll dedicate a post (a nice one) just to you letting all the world know that i know and love you (even if i once loved you, i still love you, you know!). you want to know what i would say about you, huh? leave a comment, and don't forget your name, duh! you'll be famous, you can tell all your friends that somebody blogged about you. and if i don't know you, i'll make up a grand story and you'll seem heroic and cool.

i guess i don't mind if people i might actually know actually know and read my blog. not that i'll be putting it on fb anytime soon. the internet is scary.

(and if you don't reveal yourself, i'll just put one of those trackers on here and find out who you are anyway!)

much love,

some more..

pictures from the bbq place, and a really old truck thing, and this pumpkin patch we found (um, i left a brand new 50mm lens there in the field and didn't notice till we were all the way back in provo... thank goodness it was still there- you can see it to the right of the pumpkin in the field picture... and jenn giving the cat a bath. oh yeah, and this leaf i found with a heart burned into it.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

nikon d90

so gorgeous

Nikon D90
12 MP DX, 4.5 FPS, 3" LCD
720p/24 Video (that's right- VIDEO! the first dslr on the market that can shoot video clips...

same metering system as the d3 (which costs 4 times as much), in a smaller package... ha. small package. ISO up to 6400...depth of field preview... active d-lighting (why i love nikon!), and so easy to use with smartly placed buttons and menus (another nikon advantage) love it.

i took it out with kristi yesterday just to get used to it (it's still kinda a jump from the d40) and she played with the 40 while i tried to get used to this one... we went to the lake. obviously.

today i went for a drive up the canyon, the leaves are starting to change colors, it's great...also, kristi and i went to a little bbq place in lehi, there really is no good bbq around here (unless austin is grilling it...) but this little joint was pretty tasty. locally grown sweet corn roasted, creamy potato salad, and pulled pork (topped with coleslaw- yum crunch) sandwiches. all eaten outside at a picnic table. how great. pictures of that tomorrow... my computer is about to die and i'm so ready for bed!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

how small

do your problems seem when you read the courageous strength-under-fire of another? I've been following these blogs the last few weeks and wanted to share with those who hadn't heard this story yet...

Stephanie and her husband Christian were in an airplane crash and sustained critical burns. Both are trying to recover (one doing better than the other) while their 4 gorgeous kids (ok, they are more than gorgeous themselves) are being taken care of by family. Stephanie's sister, C Jane, is blogging about the whole experience, and there are hundreds of people joining in the relief effort (the medical bills for their injuries are expected to reach 7 figures...), the story has been picked up by The Today Show, People, along with about a billion other shows, newspapers, magazines, and blogs...

Jane's blog (and Stephanie's, she's an amazing happy mom and wife) are just what it takes to remind all of us that life is precious, and it's a great cause, if anyone out there has the means to help out!!

Stephanie's blog (now updated by Jane):

C Jane's blog:
Jane's blog post 'unrequited' made me cry... what wonderful people...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

this ($2238)
nikon d300 dslr w/18-200mm af/vr lens

and this ($349)
nikon 50mm 1.4 lens

and this ($596)
nikon 10.5mm wide angle lens

dear mr. taxman, please give me back $3183 of my money thanks

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


i was bored today, went a little south, even though it was raining. i hit up an antique store and bought some random crap and then drove around with the windows down.

unlikely friends- a groom, a horse, and the owl.


in the natural habitat

urban swan

wishful thinking

life is a highway
 ”If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.” -Jeffrey R. Holland, “Broken Things to Mend,” April 2006 General Conference

and this one

“I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears; behold, I will heal thee.”
2 Kings 20:5

sometimes it's hard not to sit and wonder why crappy things happen, why crappy people happen, why we don't get what we want (ok, i shouldn't drag more faithful people into this- why I don't get what I want...). and then all it takes is the perspective of another. a sweet friend who's lost so much more than me and yet manages to live her life with an incredible eternal perspective that brings such peace in times of the greatest sorrow that might be experienced in a life. Or it takes a incredible CES fireside this past Sunday, by Elder Holland and remembering one who endured so much because he saw a more glorious end than any other man ever could have imagined. Can I make my 'jail' into a 'temple'? Could I have the strength to turn extreme mourning into extreme faith and peace and happiness? Something to work on, surely...

Sometimes things need to get worse before they can get better.

i don't usually preach from my blog (whatever happened to this being for my pictures?), and hopefully this post isn't too preachy for anybody, but i'm so grateful for an eternal perspective that sometimes i forget to remember.

"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. the Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers"
-Gordon B. Hinckley

Saturday, September 6, 2008

i don't want any more of these
i want a this

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

i feel so very restless right now. the end of summer? maybe because school is starting for everyone around me and all i have is work. the end of another quick, fruitless relationship (if i had only imagined how many of these i'd have in the last year, i think i might have just stayed in bed)? maybe because i cannot understand or figure out what to do as far as work, making a 'living', my intense and sometimes unreasonable desire to feel like i'm making a difference to somebody.. i don't get to start classes and see all new people and wonder who i can make eyes at while the teacher lectures. i am done wondering how i'm going to get through 5 research papers in a semester or to what exact hundredth of a point i need to get my GPA to in order to not be on academic probation. i go to the same job every day and wonder if people can be helped, or if i can actually feel good while trying to inspire- mostly i wonder how i can get through 8 hours of teenage rehab drama without more than a 64 oz dr. pepper and a few ibuprofen from the nurse. i've never been off this continent. i've never been surrounded by a different culture. does it make me ungrateful to be so restless? and to feel so trapped in the comforts that i have, the blessings that amount to so much more than i deserve? i don't mean to sound ungrateful for all of it, i don't really know what more i'm supposed to be doing, but i'm pretty sure there's something.

i went to the showing of this tonight.

i need to go. like, now.

i see you too...