another day... back to work.. BUT i remembered that i have a vacation day this sunday! woohoo! so only 3 days of work this week. which rocks.

i've been incredibly annoyed the last couple of weeks. be it the election, the cold weather and my lack of the perfect jacket, what have you... hopefully this will be my last annoyed angry blog post for a while. but you never know.

my sister and her friend clark (a californian, nonetheless!) were over last night and we were talking about all the craziness that has surrounded the last few weeks, and how extreme some people have been lately

why do people throw their beliefs at others? can't you just live the way you live without having to rub it faces? are other people not entitled to the same opinions and thoughts that you are?

why do people only vote by party? 'i'm a republican! i WILL vote mccain!!" "i'm democrat, go obama!"... who cares? i think it just shows a lack of intellect and drive towards actually knowing WHO you are voting for. Did you really research the candidates? did you actually pick one that goes along with what you value? or are you voting for an donkey or an elephant? hmm... i appreciate now more than ever people with minds, who think the way THEY think, not how a society, institution, friend, religion, or Kanye thinks... so if you actually kept up with election stuff, considered BOTH candidates, read up on what they believed, what they've supported in the past, how they've campaigned in the past, then good for you. and if you just voted blue or red, maybe try harder next time.

because of a blog post about how i was tired of hearing about prop 8 (not which side i supported), i was told by friends (church members, obviously) that i wasn't following the prophet, wasn't following their counsel, blah blah blah. here's what i have to say to them: SCREW YOU. i can think for myself, i have a testimony of the gospel and of the prophet, and i follow them in every way that applies to my life. i dare say i follow the principles and ordinances as much as, if not more, than you. the church has released a statement on the involvement with prop 8... i agree with the guy who commented this: "It disappoints me how few of my Californian Mormon friends, in their (often self-righteous) zeal, dealt with the issue with anywhere near the class and consideration the Church itself has presented here." I know that things are important to people, and we all have a right to stand up to what we believe. thats the beauty of where we live. now if we could only figure out how to be true disciples of Christ and love one another... despite differences and without bigotry and intolerance and avoidance of that which is different...


i'm glad elections are over, i'm glad that i have a president to support as a citizen of America, and glad that i'll never live in california. change is inevitable, and should be embraced. people should be embraced. and all you people that said you would leave if obama won, or if prop 8 passed... pack your bags and go. if you are really that staunch against change, different views, democracy... then you probably don't deserve to live here anyways.


**warning: the previous entry was written on the wings of an annoyance, and may offend some. if so, that's your problem for being offended, you can chose how to feel. however, it doesn't mean i love you any less...

tah-dah!!!

so i'm separating the blogs... cause i put way too much of myself on here, and i need a separate picture blog.
i think the url is

picturedbytara.blogspot.com
-but there's no pictures up yet, my internet is sucking.. check back late tonight or tomorrow. (or for you night owls, 4 a.m.)

yeah, i'm staying loyal to here, too complicated to have blogs in different places, and i'm an uncomplicated person- ha!

so now you can chose to ignore my useless ramblings and just see pictures. or visa versa, if that's what you're into...

in other news, today i decided i need a man for nothing (well, for now at least)
cause i like going to home depot by myself (i will marry a man who can browse for over an hour by himself without disturbing me while i do so) and looking at bbq pits, tile, light fixtures, and power drills. i bought drawer knobs. cause i found a dresser on clearance, but i hate the crap color, so i'm re-finishing it myself. after i put it together myself. with a tool. and then i'm gonna replace the stupid knobs with my cooler ones. and then i'm gonna be so proud. that's right. i can sand, paint, and screwdrive alone. hmmm... would have been nice to have a guy around to carry the damn thing up to my apartment though.

tonight is steak night. i love austin so much.

that's all, i love you.

can you hear me now???

preview of lots of photos to come. or something. they're all pretty much edited, i just don't feel like doing anything... aka posting them all. so until tomorrow...



1. i'm so glad this election is over. i personally didn't really like either candidate, but i think it's good for us to stand behind the man chosen. 'nuff said.

2. don't assign words or thoughts to me. i'll turn it around and throw it back at you 10 times worse.

c. i hate when people lie to me (especially right to my face) and think they're getting away with it. don't you know i've already learned the truth before you were even constructing stories in your head or trying not to jumble the words you were vomiting all over me?

d. i lately have been taking showers so hot i am red for hours afterwards. i am not sure what i'm trying to scald away. sometimes i understand why people use other means to get away from reality.

e. i need to make a new blog or something and have separate picture/thoughts spots.

i stole it. i steal things. pictures. thoughts, words and hearts.

the cat loves me. i strongly dislike him- i always tell him to go away and throw him off the couch/my computer/my legs/the sink at night when i'm brushing my teeth. he always comes back for more. he seems to want to be near me more. typical guy.

my best friend derek has saved me once again. thank goodness for 9th grade health ed. (as he likes to say, we learned about sex together). last night he made me chocolate milk and let me cry. (taking awkward pictures is the best)

i love eating at restaurants that aren't... uh, chain. don't get me wrong, i love chili's and the OG, and all that.. but there's something about finding a really REALLY good little place run by real people, who had some passion to really give to others... in the best way possible- food! my new favorite place for lunch is Dew in provo- Vietnamese sandwiches and boba drinks- can't get better... plus, i love the simple space, the ipod plugged into a set of speakers, the random art, and the leather couch where i can sit and read while I wait....



Jason Mraz... UHmazing! i was a little skeptical (or just pissy cause Michael and I were supposed to go to this concert together... ugh) but he was an incredible performer- he sounds as great live as his recordings... which is hard to find. besides, what a dream, huh? plus i just love concerts and shows of any kind... like the Benton Paul/Ryan Innes (our- by our i mean David and mine, so technically not 'our' anymore-friend from Vocal Point days) show in the alley a few days ago behind Sammy's cafe down on Center Street. with Catherine- a singing/songwriting wonder in herself... i have such admiration for people who are genuinely talented and share.


also, I got somebody to take my shift tomorrow, so I have the next 4 days off! heaven... hoping to catch Cam for some shooting somewhere new- or old... i already got all my laundry done- i love the smell of Gain-fresh clothes in my room! now if I could only find a dresser to put it all in... my life would be so much less stressful.

the halloween costume i made at work to go out in afterwards... that is still sitting in my car cause i was so tired after work that i didn't feel like doing anything but going to bed...

new shoes

this week's episode of The Office and The Biggest Loser (don't you just HATE Heba???)

what did you love about this week???

(i'll find a way to you if it kills me... i think it might kill me.)

ever realize you've been trying real hard for something (or maybe somebody, maybe yourself) and you realize maybe it was a bust from the beginning? maybe you knew that all along... just in denial as usual...

i hate those moments of realization- sometimes they come in a series of a 'well that figures' and a 'of course's and you just chalk it up to bad timing, better luck next time... before you finally get enough of the little kick-in-the-ass instances that you figure if you don't walk away now you'll end up down in a gutter somewhere. i don't know if this makes sense...

why does it always take me so long to get to that point? cause anyone who knows me knows this ain't the first time.
and why do i still not want to face it, why do i still want to try?

cause that part of me will probably never change, i'll probably never slap myself and figure that people will let you down, you will let you down, life will let you down sometimes. i guess cause sometimes randomly, things get ironed out... on one part of the sleeve at least.

so peace.

(i'm off to explore fall with the 50 mm that i've started to love)

it's fall...


having a sister is having a always-around-and-willing-even-if-she's-not model.

plus she's pretty hot...







(if anyone has some clue how to export these from photoshop without losing so much color, please enlighten me-i had to save them as jpegs to post them... i think- though i'm having major issues with lightroom and photoshop either not importing or screwing up my RAW/NEF files from my d90... I think I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and upgrade to lightroom 2.1 and CS4)