Thursday, March 10, 2011

Graphic Contents.


Ahh, so innocent and sweet looking....

You'd never guess the horrible and disgusting and gruesome things that this guy can create/inflict upon the naive. 

Yesterday after laying him down and walking around/cleaning up for about half an hour, I look down and see something nasty attatched to my shirt.  It looked a little something like this:


Yeah, his nasty cord stump had fallen off and attached itself straight unto my bosom. Damon got home right then and when I handed Ellis to him, it fell on the floor. I asked him if he wanted to keep it as a keepsake... He picked it up and threw it away.

This morning (most mornings), Ellis got a little... constipated.  And I mean he was having a hard time there, for about 2 hours. It was starting to get sad to watch, and he was getting more and more upset.  Thank goodness for babycenter.com and baby books, there's no need to even consult an expert anymore.  There are numerous suggestions on how to relieve constipation in babies- let's just say that I picked the one that seemed like it would offer the quickest and most effective relief.  And it came to pass that I made the right choice.  The wrong choice was in not preparing for the immediate effect, and the manner in which the relief came.  Let's just say it looked almost exactly like this:


It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Clothes, pillow cases, sheets, everything in the nearby vicinity.  And then, to top it off, after we stepped out of the shower and I wrapped a robe around us, he peed on us. 

Glad to know all my late nights and made-to-order Chef role is appreciated. 

Good thing he looks so sweet...





4 comments:

Jeffrey said...

this post is hilarious! And yes, I gagged when I realized that was the umbilical cord plug thing. He really is a doll. Is his hair reddish? It looks like it in this picture.

Jeffrey said...

ah, sorry, it's jenn, but way too lazy to sign into my own account.

Julie Allen said...

Tara, he is such an adorable little guy!! Hope you guys are having fun:)

Denise Elbel said...

Tara, reading your little blog brings back so many small night mares from the first child born, lets call it the experiment child.
God Bless you both! Enjoy every minute if your not to tired.
Aunt Denise

i see you too...