Thursday, October 18, 2012

Maybe soon

I've been asked lately when I'm going to update the blog here... I really wish I was better at it right now. I wish I was better at taking and sharing more pictures of the boys or talking about fun things we do or are planning or big changes in our lives...
But really, I just can't handle it...
I hate to leave family hanging, waiting for updates on Ellis and Hudson, but I really have nothing super great to write about, and the most I do is take phone pictures of them (and post to instagram most days, if you want to follow me there! @taratoday)

Maybe soon I'll be able to do regular posts again.
It might be when Hudson sleeps through the night (Ellis was pretty much at this point, and I think Hud has a long way to go)
Or when Ellis isn't in time out all throughout the day for hitting the baby or spitting
Or when Hudson starts being able to put himself to sleep, instead of needing to be rocked/bounced/shushed for sometimes hours before he'll doze off... Or at least when he doesn't have to be held constantly when he's awake
Maybe when he has less gas
Or when I can go more than 2 weeks without getting mastitis and want to give up nursing altogether
Maybe when I feel like I can handle not sleeping at night, then being productive during the day and playing with Ellis instead of turning to Disney Jr., and also making dinner every night...
When I don't feel like I need to get away every single day, need a break and alone time every night and need dr. pepper to get through the hours at home
Or when I don't talk to my best friend on the phone on her birthday and spend about all of the conversation telling her how hard it is to have 2 kids
Or when I don't consider every hour of the day starting Babywise with a 5 week old.
Maybe when I feel like we might actually have another kid someday.

It may be another few weeks. I hope it's not long.
I guess I'll see ya when I do?


Mary said...

I'm so glad you posted about this! Even though there's not much that family and friends who are far away can do, I still think it's good to just say it - this is a hard time for you guys. And rightfully so. My heart goes out to you, and at the very least there will be more thought and prayers at the Mott house for the Demars.

Andrea said...

2 kids is hard! I'm so sorry things have been tough. I know it sounds contrite to say that it will get better, but it will. Just ask for help and accept it whenever it is offered. I wish I could be there for you, since I'm past the hard stage (I promise, it does get much, much better).

When Nolan was a month or so old, I told Zac that I should probably be able to start making real dinners again and menu planning, etc. He scoffed and said, "Seriously? Just do the easiest things you can think of. Tuna melts, mac and cheese, sandwiches, waffles, that kind of stuff." I have never loved him more. Try to take it easy on yourself, you are in the trenches.

And starting Babywise does not make you a bad person. I was tempted to do it so many times before I actually did. Babies need a well-rested mommy:)

And you can call me any time, day or night, and complain about how hard it is to have 2 kids. I love you and hope things get better soon.

Leslie Campos said...

Tara, I had mastitis several times and it was AWFUL, my mom's cousin suggested trying lecithin to keep from getting blocked milk ducts, and it worked for me. You can find it at wholefoods.

Barrett Family said...

Why do we not live closer to each other?! As I was reading this (yesterday, but baby was crying so I couldn't comment... and by the way, he's still crying, but my mom is holding him so I can comment) I just kept thinking, "Someone else knows what I'm going through." I just read your post to my mom and she said, "You could have written that!" We've been relying WAAAAY too much on Disney Junior for Kylee. Our little Ty needs to be held constantly (which I absolutely loved in the beginning and now I'm wondering, will I ever do anything productive with my life again?!). I sure miss you! Ellis looks so grown up with his hair cut! He's so cute! I love the picture of Hudson... what a sweetheart. I'll think of you when we're both up all hours of the night!

Charity said...

Loved your post!! It is SUCH an adjustment from one to two and we have not yet experienced "good sleepers" so I feel for you! Ella and I traded thrush for months. Yeah. Fun horror stories there.
Just know you are AMAZING! You are holding down the fort with 2 boys while Damon is gone and he loves and appreciates you for it! You rock. Im also a skotch bit jealous of your cutie-patootie boys. :) Hang in there!

i see you too...