thanksgiving?

today was long, but i'm really not too tired. just worn out.. haha.
worked a double- 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. with a bunch of... if i could only describe them accurately... teen girls. we sat around and watched movies. we had fun. we had a big catered 'thanksgiving dinner' at 1 p.m. we had a drink run for staff who were losing it after 13 hours. we had a dial 9 at the end of the night for a girl who probably shouldn't have been allowed to have all the sugar she wanted.
i got paid 14 hours of time and a half, with another 8 coming tomorrow... who knew black friday was a real holiday? no complaints here...

i feel blah. maybe because i wasn't with family or derek's family, which is the same, for the holiday. sitting around saying what we're thankful for, making blankets, playing with babies.. or at home, listening to my loud cousins, driving down to get mexican food at midnight, or eating tamales instead of turkey.

maybe because i know what somebody wants and it's something i want too and i'm too scared to be open (and i hate being cliche). maybe because i hold out for no reason. sometimes i get crushed. and they didn't even mean to or think i'd care.

maybe because my heat/hot water is not working and i'm stuck sleeping with a space heater nearby not able to actually sleep cause i think it's going to catch my bed and me on fire.

whatever it is, who cares. it's thanksgiving. i'm thankful
my mom and dad and stepmom and sister and everyone else i'm related to- i seriously have the coolest family.
and my friends
and what i believe
my camera and books and music and ears and eyes to enjoy such things
and you (if you fall in none of the above???)