wow

i think i've lost 13 friends since posting about prop 8 and how i'm tired of hearing about it, about a comment on how we shouldn't let others chose how we vote, etc. i never at all said i was sick of HEARING ABOUT prop 8 because it promoted intolerance of marriage. at all. that's 100 percent not what i said.i did say i was tired of hearing about prop 8. the intolerance of marriage part was never in my vocabulary. i have apparently now become one who embraces sex being taught to kids (man on man at that) and not following my church leaders' counsel...

i like to stir things up every once in a while- apparently i'm good at it.

i love the church, i love it's leaders, i love my future husband, and i love the kiddos that will come along too... there, i said it. that out there, i'm still sick of hearing about prop 8. sue me. i'm also sick of election crap. and sick of drinking cayenne/organic maple syrup/lemons morning noon and night. also, i'm sick of not having anything i want to wear.
maybe i just really word things wrong.
peace out.

dear cam, thank you. for being you. and not other people.

i'm tired of all this election crap. i don't like either. so i vote for Leslie.

i'm tired of all the prop 8 stuff. (sorry californians) i know this makes me a bad person, i know that i have different thoughts on some things, and that's incredibly wrong of me. it's not the different thoughts that make me tired of prop 8. i'm all for marriage, and i plan on having a husband, never a wife (much to the shock of some who know jenn and i), it's the ... i don't know... the intensity, the hatred it brings about for other human beings and their situations (maybe hatred is not a good word... intolerance?) i am a horrible rotten person in the eyes of everyone i know. i just lost 2233 friends. oh well. i think i'm still an ok person. maybe.

i want winter snow but not the cold. i want fake snow. that would make me happy. cause it's so lovely to have hot chocolate and catch snowflakes on your tongue or frolick in fields of white (and heaven knows my favorite thing ever is when utah lake freezes over and i can walk around on it and hang out with the ice fishermen) but i DO NOT like freezing out of the shower, scraping snow and ice off my car, slipping and falling on my butt in the middle of brigham square on campus, or walking anywhere and having snow seep my jeans wet up to my thighs.




(i really really want to try again... this was my first day. the last video is me crying at the end... it was a long day.)

i want a carmel apple and a dr. pepper. instead i'm gonna have some cayenne pepper.

i love the wireless remote for my cameral. prepare for narcissistic photos of the Austin Baird proportion.

i love fall right now.

oh yeah, here's some pictures... kristi and i went driving around (best pastime ever- better now that gas prices are down to about $3.27 a gallon) with our cokes (a vanilla dr. pepper and an actual coke, for y'all that aren't from the south, and don't understand that every carbonated beverage is a coke, even if it's actually an orange crush...) and a bunch of ring pops (yum!). we found an abandoned house that wasn't abandoned, and farms and farm buildings that really were abandoned, and lots and lots of cows.



and the other night preston came over and we watched youtube. and the office. and we played with the guitar. annnndddd we got angry at the cat when his sharp little nails clawed us.


and yesterday cam and i went to salt lake again... we drove around a lot. we went to an amazing discount market thing. we drove around some more. we ate mexican food (duh). we went to a skate park where i met my next boyfriend (see red bike boy. he was hot. he was 15. i wished i was in high school again) and our hands froze and one punk sissy boy complained some loud enough for us to hear but not loud enough to be like a man.


and driving home afterwards i took a picture of the moon going 80 on the freeway.

my buddy pass tickets from Southwest (youarenowfreetomoveaboutthecountry-go south!) were shoved under my door when i woke up...

which means i will soon be doing this:
listening to Pat Green, Carry On, driving a truck around dirt roads with a (diet???) dr. pepper

Eating Chuy's, the best tex-mex ever and bbq where it was meant to be had

And going to 6th street for music and crazy people

And taking pictures of the place I love best
Being with the people I love best...

Yesterday I was pondering the meaning of life after buying a crock pot. (hello fall cooking, where have you been all my life? remember when we used to date?) mostly the meaning of ... can you ever really know a person? could you possibly spend all your life (or just hours or days or 22 days) with somebody and then learn later that they aren't even near to the person you thought they were? these are the questions that 5 quarts of steel and plastic provoke.

i can't get enough of CJane's blog... like these...
http://blog.cjanerun.com/2008/10/human-touch-perspective-by-our-brother.html
cause i love mugging. and i love that this was written by a man...

http://blog.cjanerun.com/2008/10/i-photo.html
cause last night i looked through all my photobooth pictures and laughed.

also, i really want a puppy... one like this:

As of Late...

hmmm... fall is upon us, falling down the mountains like red lava... the leaves are being a little slow to change, but i have a feeling we'll get a storm and they'll be red overnight and then gone the next week.

spent a day in salt lake... walking around downtown, the salt lake cemetary, a park (i can't remember which one), mexican food. salt lake is heaven. cameron is impressive for being able to put up with me for a good all-day long adventure...

spent another day in salt lake... for the same mexican food place ... and american apparel. drove the loop again with kristi. i'm not good at the other side of the camera. i am good at carving trees though.

driving up the back of a mountain...

a wall between buildings in downtown salt lake

and another...
we found an old phone booth
we walked around the salt lake cemetary...

and a park with a ferris wheel...

hey cam, you tired yet?
they call me mellow yellow...
oh yeah that's me...

tree hugger.

i'm in a mood. don't know why. i hate days like this. maybe it's the weather- cold and rainy...

yesterday i had a little exchange where i could have just said hi to somebody but for reasons, i didn't... and then that person had a really bad night... and i know there were other factors that caused the bad night, but what if me saying hi could have made any tiny difference...

its just gonna be one of those days- you know where you walk around with a big ball in your throat somewhere between your stomach and your chest and it just sits there and reminds you all day how you're weird and in a funk and maybe you could do something about it but do you really want to?? and you want to be doing more but you aren't and you don't know why... and you're lonely when there's 6 other people in your apartment at the moment....

i want to be bigger than i am.

[sometimes my picture blog is my diary]

right now i am...

crying hard, reading NieNie's blog...

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2007/04/perfect-day.html

specifically that post

at least once a day i read her blog, and her sister's blog, and i cry.

{i want to be just like her.}

eureka!!

driving around with a dr. pepper and my ipod and my camera in search of strange small down things. i love little places where the people drive their 4-wheelers around instead of cars, and where the air smells like farm animals and where people sit out on their porches, and when they wave at you from their cars as they pass you in yours... i love eureka. it almost made me feel like i was in texas again instead of... here.

(except the first one, that one was taken in front of my mattress...)