i must confess

i have had more than many days where i sat online all day long. and looked at blogs. and thought, i should go out and be productive, and then got dressed and made up and then... sat back on the couch to read more blogs.

i say the S word sometimes. when i drop the same white spoon while cooking 455 times or when i walk into the corner of the bed.  i also flip people off while driving a lot. especially people who ride my tail. i flip them and then slow down to 4 under the speed limit just to make them mad.

i don't feel guilty when i buy new clothes, even though we have absolutely no income.

i like the smell of cigarette smoke in passing- outside! i hate that i can smell it constantly in my apartment hall because of the chain smoker downstairs. and that it seeps under my door and into my lovely home.

i judge people more than i should (should=never). and make fun of people a lot. luckily i married somebody who makes fun of people with me instead of making me feel guilty. you can make fun of me or judge me back if you want, i won't be mad.

i like reading mail, including junk mail and the stupid West Des Moines Register.

i don't like when people say 'tending' instead of 'babysitting'.   tending sounds too pleasant.

i want to be planting a garden right now really really bad!  i think i'll do a pot garden (like the vessel, not the weed) and have some cilantro and basil and .... mint. those are the only 3 i care much about.

i really do like Anna Karenina, even though flip! i have been reading it for like a year now!  but every time i pick it up (and drop it on my face while reading in the bathtub and then say the S word/have to air dry it) i love it and the story.

i am morally opposed to small dogs. i think they may as well be cats. and i am immorally opposed to cats, but not 7 week old kittens, but nothing older than that.

i want to live in nyc. so that i can have an excuse to have to walk everywhere and also an excuse to never cook and eat out every meal.

i don't like cliche mormon things. like princess bride and apples to apples. or any games, for that matter. there i said it. hate me today.

yesterday it was 70 degrees here. in the middle of february. and then i thought i could live here forever. and then i remembered that they don't put overhead lights in living rooms here. and they don't put ceiling fans in any room in the apartment, except the dining nook. cause everyone wants their hair blowing around and their eyes drying out while they are trying to eat soup or baby back ribs.

once a month i go to the library and read the new issue of every magazine i like. i read them for like 4 hours straight. WDM lib > Provo lib cause it carries Cosmo.

sorry i fooled you on the 'no update' thing. i needed to blog. to feel connected to people outside the voices in my head and the voice i give the person inside me who is kinda resembling one of those crazy people at berkley who stay up in trees and refuse to come down. though yesterday i did see 4 people besides my husband- i'd like to give a shout out to amber, michelle, kylee, and brandon!  those are also the only people i've seen besides damon since sunday.